Defiance and Denial
by SassyRaydorGirl
Summary: "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it can enlarge the future."
1. Chapter 1

**Defiance and Denial**

 **Connie/Lucas**

…

Harry Pearce sat behind his desk, staring at the email he'd just received. Part of him thought that perhaps it was an old email that had been buried deep within the computer systems, magically appearing after two years, but he knew even himself how silly that sounded. The knock at his door disturbed his thoughts, as he looked up to see Ruth standing in the doorway, a warm smile on her face.

"Are you still not finished yet, I thought we agreed, one more hour and then we were calling it a night?"

"Yes I know, sorry I…something came up."

"It's not me you have to explain too, it's that over excited little girl at home who looks forward to her daddy tucking her in at night."

Harry smiled back at her, watching as Ruth closed the door behind her and came over to his side.

"Harry, what's wrong…trouble?"

"I'm not sure, I just received this email."

Ruth leaned over Harry's shoulder to read the email, asking his to meet the recipient as soon as possible.

"Connie James, I thought she died?"

"Yes, so did I."

"Lucas and Ros…they saw her die?"

"They assumed she had, Connie's body was never recovered. The blast was…huge to say the least. She shouldn't have survived it."

"So this is what…someone's idea of a sick joke?"

"Something tells me no, the wording in this email, it sounds like Connie."

"Okay, so are you going to the meeting place?"

"I have to Ruth."

"Take someone with you?"

"It says come alone."

"I know what it says, but things are different now Harry. You have other responsibilities than just MI5, you have me and our daughter. You have to think about us too."

"This is still my job Ruth, look nothing with happen to me."

"You don't know that."

Harry could see Ruth was getting upset, as he got to his feet, his arms going around her waist as she looked him in the eyes.

"I knew we should have made our escape from this business when we have Grace." She stated.

"I'll be careful, I promise."

"You bloody better be Harry, because I'm not raising the new baby on my own."

"Look I…wait, new baby?"

"Yes, I was going to tell you tonight, but as we're her now…" She smiled.

Harry leaned in and kissed his wife, Ruth's arms going around his neck.

"Harry please…be careful."

"I will, I promise."

As Ruth stepped back, she ran a hand down Harry's face.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you too, I won't be back too late. I'll make sure I'm back to tug Gracie in."

"I'll see you at home."

Harry watched Ruth leave, before going in to his bottom drawer and brining out his handgun.

…

Harry stood by the railings under Waterloo Bridge, the night wind cold on his neck. His hands in his pockets, he heard the soft footsteps behind him, causing his hand to close tightly around the handgun in his pocket.

"Hello Harry."

Harry froze when he heard the all too familiar voice behind him, turning around to see that indeed Connie James, traitor and murderer was indeed still very much alive.

"Oh my god, so it is true." He stated.

Connie walked towards him, noticing his hand in his right pocket.

"I'm not here to kill you Harry." She said as she approached him.

"Then why, what do you want Connie. After two years you decide to come back, why?"

"What can I say, I missed the place."

"You missed the country you betrayed?"

"We all make mistakes Harry, god knows you've made more than enough in your lifetime."

"I've never betrayed my country."

Harry watched her closely as Connie leaned on the railing under the bridge.

"I was in two minds whether or not to come back or not, how dangerous it would be for me."

"You should have stayed away, we all thought you were dead, you were safe, free with us thinking that. Coming back, you've just put a target on your back."

Connie straightened up and turned to Harry, a sad look in her eyes.

"I'm tired Harry, tired or running, of hiding and being lonely. I'd rather pay for what I did, even if that means dying for it."

"I don't know what you want me to do?"

"How's Lucas?"

"He's moved on, we all have."

"I heard you and Ruth got married…finally." She smiled.

"We have a daughter, Grace."

"I'm happy for you Harry, you got what you always wanted."

"Connie, Lucas told me what you told him in the tunnel. That you were the one who had betrayed him. Why did you do that?"

"I thought I was going to die, why let him hate you when he already hated me, it was easier to blame me."

"It was a lie…"

"He doesn't need to know that."

"He looked up to you Connie, he cared about you."

"I know, and I hurt him, for which I will forever regret."

"How do you think he's going to react when he finds out you're alive."

"I don't know."

"But you want him to know, you want them all to know?"

"Yes, Ros, Jo, Malcolm…and Lucas."

"Connie…Jo's dead."

Connie's head shot up at Harry's words, her voice breaking when she spoke.

"What…what happened to her?"

"This job, like everything else."

"Poor child, she deserved more than that."

"Malcolm, he retired."

"He retired, I never thought he'd do that. I always imagined him taking his last breath in that place."

"We all did, but after what happened to you, to Jo…it got too much for him."

"Lucas and Ros are still there though?"

"Yes."

"I want back in Harry?"

"Connie no…"

"I need to make amends for everything I did back then."

"You can't bring Ben back."

"I know, and that will always haunt me."

"I don't know how the hell you expect me to give you the green light to come back."

"Talk to the Home Secretary, I'll pay whatever price I have too for Ben and my betrayal but I need to come back Harry, please. I need to make things right, with you, with Ros…and more importantly with Lucas?"

"I can't promise anything?"

"Just try your best."

"Where are you staying?"

"The old safe house in the country, it's a bit run down but it will do."

"I'll be in touch."

"Thank you Harry."

Harry could only nod as he watched her walk away, leaving him alone under the bridge as the rain began.

…

To Be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

…

Ruth put down the book she was reading when she heard the front door, looking at her watch to see that it had already gone 10pm. Her eyes drifted towards the door to see Harry coming in to the room, a weary look on his face. She didn't speak at first, watching him closely as he took a seat beside her on the sofa, releasing a long breath he'd been holding as he ran a hand over his face. Ruth turned her attentions to him, a sympathetic smile on her face as she watched him.

"So, how did it go?"

"I honestly don't even know what to say if I'm completely honest."

"What did she want?"

"She wants to come back?"

"Come back? To where?"

Harry turned to Ruth, a confused look on his face.

"To us…to Thames House. She wants her job back?"

"You are kidding, has she taking leave of her senses?"

"She seemed genuine, I did wonder at first if she was playing me but no, she wants to come back."

"You told her no though…right?"

"I didn't really say much, I didn't know what to say."

"You say no Harry, they're not going to let her back, not after what she did. Lucas and Ros, there's no chance they'll want her back."

"There was something in Connie's eyes, something you never got to see very often."

"Regret?"

"Fear…she's scared, but of what I don't know…"

"So she's here for protection then, not because she feels guilty about what she did. She's just wanting you and the team to keep her safe from someone?"

"As I said, I don't know the full details as yet."

"Harry, I know I don't know this woman but from what you told me about the end, how can you even think about bringing her back."

Harry closed his eyes for the briefest of moments before taking hold of Ruth's hand, kissing it as he looked up at her.

"I've known Connie for a very long time, if I'd known just how damaged she was after the whole Davey King fiasco then perhaps I could have done something to help her. He made her the way she is, it's all on him."

"She could have said no?"

"Why am I defending her, I don't even know any more."

"I wish I knew. What about Lucas? You said he looked up to her, cared about her. After what she did, do you think he could forgive her?"

"I don't know, she's not all bad you know."

"Oh Harry…"

"No, before she died, or we thought she'd died. She told Lucas that she was to blame for his imprisonment."

"That wasn't the truth?"

Harry looked at Ruth, a defeated look in his eyes.

"It was me, the Russian's were asking far too much for his release and I wouldn't give in to them."

"He wasn't worth it?" She asked, shock in her voice.

"It was Lucas or the fate of our country, there was no question in my mind."

"Jesus Harry, and if it were me? Would you still have made that choice?"

"That's not fair Ruth."

"Oh I think it is…you'd still chose Britain."

Harry watched as Ruth got up from the sofa, making her way to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to bed, I'm suddenly very tired. It might be a good idea if you slept in the spare bedroom tonight okay?"

Harry heard the bitterness in her voice, nodding his head as she left the room.

…

Connie made her way through the farmhouse, checking and double checking all the locks on the doors and windows, turning off the lights as she went. She walked in to the sitting room, going over to the window to survey the land outside. Her stomach was in knots, part of her thinking that perhaps she should have just stayed away, but the note that had arrived on the doorstep had unnerved her in a way she hadn't expected. As far as Connie had been aware, everyone who had been a part of her life, believed that she died in the explosion, but now, after receiving the note, she wasn't so sure. Could Harry help her, should she tell him why she's really back, or run again and pray that the sender of the note doesn't find her. She held on tightly to the gun in her hand as she glanced outside for the umpteenth time, jumping when her phone began to ring. Picking it up, she saw Harry's number staring back at her, taking a breath before she finally answered.

"I didn't expect to hear from you so soon." Connie stated.

Harry got up from the couch and began pacing in front of the fireplace, sighing before he replied.

"I wasn't sure I would?"

"However?"

"Because of you, I'm now sleeping in the spare room tonight, so thank you for that?"

"Ruth doesn't approve?"

"Can you blame her, it would be far easier for me to just leave you to deal with whatever it is that's going on with you?"

"I already told you I…"

"I'm not a fool Connie, this isn't just about some kind of redemption. Something has happened, something you're not telling me about."

Harry could hear the long pause on the other end of the phone, before he spoke again.

"Whatever it is Connie, whatever the real reason is that you're back, then you need to tell me, because I can't help you otherwise."

"So you would consider it?"

"Depending on the circumstances, I'll consider it, but you have to understand Connie…I'm risking a hell of a lot with you. Helping you will feel like a betrayal to the others, my wife has already fallen out with me. If this is to happen, then you have to tell me everything, and I mean everything, otherwise…I'll throw you to the wolves."

Connie listened to Harry's words, almost afraid to speak.

"Connie…are you still there."

"Yes…yes I'm still here. Very well, I'll tell you everything. Can you come to the house tomorrow morning?"

"Of course, just…tell me this isn't a set up Connie, we were friends once?"

"It's not a set up, on my life. I'm getting to tired for all that these days. I need help Harry…I need help."

Harry could hear the desperation in her voice, the shake in her tone.

"Are safe out there, are you on danger, be honest with me?"

"I'm fine, really."

"Connie…you're lying to me? What did I just tell you, honesty?"

"I'm in danger, but I can survive the night."

"Are you sure, I can come and get you, take you to a hotel?"

"No, no I'll be fine. I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight Harry and thank you."

Harry was about to respond but Connie hung up the phone on him. He sat back down, deep in thought, wondering to himself why in the hell he still cared about this woman.

…

To Be Continued…


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

…

Ruth came down the stairs the next morning to see breakfast on the table, tea and orange juice sitting in the middle of the table. Grace was sitting in her seat, eating the cereal that Harry had just poured for her.

"Morning." Ruth said, a smile that disappeared as quickly as it had arrived.

Harry walked over to her, leaning in to kiss her cheek, but she moved away from his touch, going around to Grace, placing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Morning sweetheart, did you sleep okay?"

"Uh-huh, daddy made me cereal." She smiled, looking up at Harry.

"Did he, that was nice of him."

"Ruth, can we talk, please."

She looked down at her daughter, smiling at her before walking over to the sink, Harry joining her as Grace went back to her breakfast.

"Well?" She said.

"Look, about last night. I'm sorry, I know I didn't answer your question but I'm answering it now…of course I'd chose you over Britain, any day."

"Really?" She said, unsure.

"Ruth, I have waited so long for you and I to be together. I would give up everything for you and Grace, absolutely everything."

Ruth gave a half hearted smiled before she leaned in and kissed her husband, his arm coming around her waist.

"I should bloody well hope so." She smiled.

"So, when are we telling her?" Harry asked, looking over at Grace.

"We'll do it tonight."

"And the Team?"

"Let's wait for that one, I think they're going to have enough to deal with at the moment with the reappearance of Connie."

"Mm-mm, I'm not looking forward to that. I'm going to see her this morning, find out what's really going on with her."

"Do you think she's playing you?"

"No, if there's one thing I know about Connie, it's that I know when she's hiding something. When she turned mole, I knew something wasn't right, but I certainly didn't expect it to be that she was a traitor."

"You know, you could just walk away, leave her to deal with her personal issues on her own. No one would blame you if you did, not after what she did."

"I can't Ruth, she seems genuinely regretful about everything that happened. I need to do this, not just for Connie, but for the Team."

"You really think they'll thank you for bringing her back in to their lives?"

"Well, I know Ros will undoubtedly take a lot of convincing, but Lucas…he might just be okay."

"Well lets hope you're right."

"I better get going."

Harry put on his suit jacket, giving Ruth another kiss before coming around to Grace to say goodbye.

"I'll see you tonight sweetheart." He smiled.

"Will you read to me tonight daddy?"

"Of course I will."

"You promise?"

"I promise, I'll see you at the office Ruth."

"See you soon, and good luck."

…

Connie's body went rigid when she heard the knocking at the front door, her eyes opening quickly, her back protesting as she sat up in the chair by the window, realising that she'd fallen asleep during the night. She got up and made her way to the door, her gun firmly in her hand as she spoke.

"Who's there?"

"Connie it's me, Harry."

She released a shaky breath as she unlocked the door, opening it to see Harry on the doorstep.

"Connie?"

"Morning Harry, come on in."

As Harry stepped inside, he watched the way she surveyed outside, before closing the door, locking it up again, as she put her gun at the side.

"Come on through."

Harry followed her though to the front room, seeing the curtains drawn. As he stepped forward to open them, he heard Connie yell out.

"LEAVE THEM HARRY."

Harry turned back in surprise at the shake in her voice.

"Connie sit down." He demanded.

Connie did as he asked, taking a seat on the sofa, Harry joining her. She looked up at him, seeing the way he was watching her. He sat down on the chair opposite her before he spoke.

"So, last night…I told you that if you want back in, want my help then you have to be honest with me, so?"

Connie released a shaky breath before she went in to the pocket of her jacket and pulled out the small piece of paper, handing it to Harry. He took the note from her, unfolding it and reading it. Connie watched his face for any kind of reaction but as always Harry's face remained neutral. He folded the note and placed it in the inside of his suit jacket before getting to his feet.

"Pack a bag, anything you need."

"Harry I…"

"You're not staying here, it's too dangerous for you. I'll get you to a hotel."

"That's not necessary."

"Someone is threatening your life, you're not safe here and until I've spoken to the team, I can't have someone here with you to protect you."

Connie got to her feet, relief washing over her.

"Thank you Harry."

"Go and pack a bag."

Connie turned on her heels, making her way in to the bedroom, taking a bag from the wardrobe and filling it with the essentials that she'd need, Harry appeared in the doorway, watching her, his arms folded.

"Connie?"

"Yes."

"Tell me the truth, do you know who sent this to you?" He asked, holding up the white piece of paper.

"No."

"You're absolutely sure?"

"As far as I was aware, anyone connected to me are either dead, or believed I was. I've gone over and over in my head who could have send it and I just don't know."

"Fair enough, be quick and we'll get you to safety."

…

To Be Continued…


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

…

Everyone had received a call from Harry just after 6am to meet at the Grid just at 9am. Lucas was already at the table in the meeting room with Malcolm when Ruth walked in with her tablet, taking a seat opposite the two men.

"Morning Ruth?" Malcolm smiled.

"Morning, Lucas."

"Hey, so why the early wake up call this morning?"

"Erm…not sure."

"You live with him?"

"Yes but I'm also a member of this team and if there's something he doesn't want me to know right away then he won't talk. We do have some boundaries you know, marriage doesn't give us carte blanche."

"Fair enough."

Lucas seemed to accept her answer to his questions, luckily for her. Ros came though the doors with a thud, the files that she was carrying, landing at her feet, the coffee in her other hand scalding her.

"Oh bloody great." She cursed.

"Here, let me help you?" Lucas said, getting to his feet.

He retrieved her files, and placed them on the table, while Malcolm handed her a handkerchief to dry her burning hand.

"Thanks Malcolm."

Lucas coughed loudly as he looked over at her, Ros rolling her eyes at him.

"Yes Lucas, thank you for your help too."

She passed Malcolm back his handkerchief before coming to sit beside Ruth.

"Okay so…what the hell's with the early wake up call this morning then, I had a late night last night and was looking forward to a lie in for once." Ros complained.

"Who was the lucky guy?" Lucas smirked.

"Mind your own, so…do we know what this is all about?"

Ros looked around the room, her eyes landing on Ruth.

"Well don't look at me, I'm as much in the dark as you are."

"Really?"

Ruth knew that Ros could see right through her, the woman wasn't a fool, but she never said anything, just went back to drinking her coffee.

…

Harry paid the receptionist for the hotel room, before he took Connie up to her room. They made their way in to the elevator, Connie watching as Harry pressed the button for the fifth floor. The remained silent until they were inside the room. Connie placing her belongings on the bed, before going over to look out at the city.

"I've paid the room for the next two weeks, if we need it for longer then we'll sort something out. If it turns out you are to stay then we'll need to find you a more permanent residence. Obviously upon your death, your flat was sold."

"Yes, I expected as much."

Harry took out the letter Connie had given him, re-reading it for a second time.

"Connie, are you telling me the truth about this letter, you really have no idea who could have sent it?"

Connie turned to him, her arms folded, shrugging her shoulders.

"I wasn't lying to you, I know that's hard for you to believe and I can't blame you for that but I honestly don't know. I've gone over and over who it could be. Qualtrough and Davie King were the only two I can think off who would want me dead and as far as we know, they're dead themselves."

"Well, Qualtrough is, King…I'm not sure. We never found a body after the explosion."

"If it was him, then why wait until now, and how could he have possibly known that I was alive."

"If, and that's a big if, but if it is him…he won't stop until he has you. You know his fixation with you, he fell in love with you Connie, he kidnapped you to get to me and he fell in love with you."

"Yes I do remember thank you, I have the scars to prove it."

Harry picked up on the fear in her voice, recalling what Davie had done to her all those years ago.

"You've never forgiven me have you, for what happened to you?" Harry asked.

"You sent me in there to extract information but you failed to inform me of just how dangerous he was, you just assumed my looks would get me everything I needed, well it shows just how wrong you truly were."

Harry came over to her, a hand on her arm.

"Connie, if I could go back to that day, take back everything he did to you, I would, but I can't. All I can do now, if it's him, is to protect you and kill him."

"What if you can't, he's stronger than you Harry, than all of you. He knows how to hurt people better than anyone else. I don't think even the team can protect me from him. Perhaps this is what I deserve, for all that I did. Turning traitor, teaming up with Qualtrough…this is my penance."

"Get some rest, I've asked that no one other than be allowed to your room. If anyone comes, **do not** answer it. I'll be back in a few hours, try and sleep, take a bath, ease your back."

"Do you think they'll help me?"

Harry could see how worried and scared Connie was, he only hoped the team could look past what she had done to them all.

"I will do my very best to convince them, if they don't, I will find another alternative."

"Such as?"

"If I have too, I'll hire some security for you. Try not to worry, lets not get a head of ourselves. Just, get some rest, get changed and for god sake woman, eat something. I'll be back soon."

Connie gave a small smile as she watched Harry leave, locking the door behind him, he leaned against it for a few moments, allowing a few tears to fall at the mess she had created for herself, and the people around her.

…

To Be Continued…


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

…

Harry entered Thames House, going up the stairs and entering the grid. He made his way to the meeting room, stopping at the door for a few moments while he got himself prepared for what was undoubtedly waiting for him on the other side. He took a breath before entering to see his colleagues and Ruth all seated at the table.

"About time Harry, I thought you'd given up on us?" Ros stated.

"Yes sorry everyone, I got held up."

"You okay?" Ruth asked. Her eyes saying so much more.

Harry could only nod his head in her direction before he stood behind the chair at the table, his hands resting on the back of the chair before he raised his head.

"Has something happened Harry?" Lucas asked.

"You could say that?"

"Well spit it out then, I didn't give up my lie in for nothing you know."

"Ros?" Ruth warned.

"Yeah okay I'm sorry. So, what is it?"

"I had a phone call late last night from an old acquaintance, someone I haven't heard from in about four years, someone I didn't think I'd ever hear from ever again if I'm honest."

"An old friend?" Lucas asked.

"Once, a very long time ago. A friend to us all, back in the day."

Ros looked at him oddly before she saw the way Ruth was studying him.

"Why do I get the feeling that we're all about to be told something that we're really not going to like here?" She asked.

"Because you would be absolutely correct, what I'm about to tell you all is most certainly something that you won't be happy about and if it was something I could avoid doing, know that I would. What I'm about to tell you, I'm not doing it light heartedly, I've thought long and hard about telling you and how to break this to you all gently but every time I go over it in my mind, I realise that there just isn't an easy way of saying this so I'm just going to get straight to the point."

"And the point is Harry?" Lucas asked.

Ros saw the way Ruth looked at them all before Harry spoke again.

"Connie's alive." He said quickly.

Ros and Lucas looked at one another, a little confused at first. Not entirely sure they'd heard him correctly.

"I'm sorry, would you say that again?" Ros asked.

"You heard him the first time?" Ruth said.

"I knew you were in on this."

"Oh come on, in on it. I'm not in on anything." Ruth said.

"Oh please, you knew about Connie….tell me I'm wrong."

"Jesus." Lucas said.

"So much for being a team."

"That's not fair Ros."

"No?"

"This hasn't been easy for Harry, and the truth is, I'm with you. I told him he shouldn't go to her when she called him."

"She was against me going Ros."

"So why did you?" Lucas asked.

Harry took a seat as the table, before looking back to this team again.

"There was something in her voice, fear. Now you all know what Connie was like, nothing ever phased her, even when she turned on us, she never acted any differently."

"And what, now she's a completely changed woman, please."

"Ros I don't expect you to trust her, any of you. At least not right now."

"Or perhaps never, she betrayed us Harry, all of us. How you can even contemplate helping her with anything is insane."

"Somebody is trying to kill her Ros."

"GOOD…Maybe this time, someone will succeed."

Ros got to her feet, and stormed out of the room, leaving everyone else taking in what Harry had told them.

"I might just go and check on her." Ruth said.

"Thanks Ruth."

Ruth smiled, squeezing Harry's arm before she left. Harry looked back to see Lucas with his head down, his hands clenched in front of him.

"Lucas, you haven't said very much?"

"I just…I just can't take it in. Connie's alive?"

"Very much so."

"Did she say where she'd been?"

"We haven't really had any in depth conversations as yet, aside from her current situation I'm afraid."

"How does she know someone's trying to hurt her."

"She received a letter."

"Did you read it?"

"I did, it was made pretty clear to her that she wouldn't be around for very much longer. That it was time to pay for her crimes, and the devastation that she'd left behind."

"Any ideas about who might have sent it?"

"I did ask her but she is completely clueless about it's origin, but she's scared. She's definitely scared."

"Why do I still care, she betrayed us Harry. I should be hating her, abandoning her. Why does part of me want to help, instead of being furious like Ros is?"

"Ros didn't know Connie the way we did, she wasn't as close to her. She was your mentor, that means something."

"But she betrayed me, left me to die over there."

Lucas words felt like a punch to Harry's stomach, wanting so much to tell Lucas the truth.

"Lucas I…"

"Harry…."

Harry looked up to see Ruth was behind them, a look in her eyes only Harry knew.

"Sorry, can I have a word."

"I'll leave you both to it, I'll go and check on Ros."

"Thanks Lucas." Harry smiled.

As Lucas left, Ruth came over to Harry, her arms going around him.

"Don't do it Harry?"

"Ruth I…"

"Connie wanted to take the blame for that, let her. Telling Lucas now that it was you who wouldn't negotiate his release, it won't help anyone, not him and certainly not you. Leave it alone."

"If Connie can be saved, then he'll need to know one day."

"Well not right now he doesn't, we have more important and bigger things to deal with right now, okay?"

"Very well, for now…we concentrate on today's problems."

"Good, now go and sort out Ros…Connie needs our help."

…

To Be Continued…


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

…

Malcolm was still very quiet, as Ruth and Lucas went to check on Ros. Harry took a seat across from him, his face emotionless.

"You haven't said anything Malcolm?"

"So this is why you asked me to come here today, I did wonder what could be so important as to disrupt my retirement."

"I'm sorry old friend, if I could have avoided calling you in I would have, but right now I need all who were associated with Connie in on this, her life depends on it."

" **Her life** , what about young Ben's life. What payment did she receive for taking his life?"

"Well I'd go so far as to say she's paying her price now. Perhaps a few years late but never the less."

"Would you care to elaborate?"

Harry went in to his jacket pocket to retrieve the piece of paper Connie had given him and passed it to Malcolm.

Malcolm read it over and over for a few minutes before folding it up and passing it back to Harry.

"Do we have any idea at all who could have sent it?"

"The only man in my mind is Davey King, all we saw was the explosion, there was never a body."

"Just like Connie?"

"Yes, just like Connie."

"You don't think they're in on some plan of revenge together."

"For all Connie's faults, her huge mistakes. She's scared Malcolm."

"Whoever this is, they want her dead. Her head on a platter, they talk about her betraying them too."

"Which is why I think it's King, in the end she helped us get him."

"Or so we thought. This will hurt Lucas, you know what she meant to him?"

"Right now, our biggest worry is Ros. You saw the look on her face, the anger."

"You can't blame her, Connie betrayed us all. Forgiveness, I'm not even sure is possible."

"God why now, with everything else happening, why now."

"Everything else?"

"Mm-mm…oh, never mind."

"Problems on the home front?"

If there was one person who could read Harry other than Ruth, it was Malcolm.

"Don't tell her that I told you but Ruth…she's pregnant again."

"Oh how wonderful, congratulations Harry, to both of you."

"Thanks old friend, and we will all celebrate, but right now….the Connie situation needs dealing with."

"Well you have all the help you need from me."

"Thank you."

…

Ros was pacing back and forth in the break room, her arms folded in front of her as Ruth and Lucas came inside. She looked up, her hand up stopping them.

"DON'T."

"Ros I…"

"Are you really telling us that Harry didn't tell you any of this before us?" Anger in Ros voice.

"She called him last night, asking to see him. I begged him not to go to her."

"Well you obviously didn't beg hard enough."

"Ros come on, it's not Ruth's fault."

"No, it's bloody Connie's. There's no getting rid of that woman."

"We're all angry Ros, she caused a lot of pain, I know that, but Harry seems absolutely sure she's being truthful now."

"For Christ sake Lucas, listen to yourself. Don't tell me you want to help her."

"I'm not saying I forgive what she's done but…if she's really in danger then…."

"THEN WHAT…SHE KILLED BEN?"

"Guys, yelling at each other won't help."

"I need to leave, I have to think."

Before anyone could say anything, Ros stormed out of the grid.

"Lucas?"

"I'm okay."

"I know this must be hard on you, Harry told me how much you admired her?"

"Admired, is that what he said?"

"You didn't?"

"No I…I did. She was brilliant, I wanted to be her. I'd spend every spare moment I had with her, just learning from her. When I found out she was the one that prevented me from coming home when I was captured, that she wouldn't negotiate my release, I wanted to hate her but…I couldn't, part of me understood why she did it, for our country. Am I that blinded by her?"

"No of course not, you looked up to her as you said. A mother figure perhaps?"

Lucas laughed at the term, before taking a seat, Ruth joining him.

"What's funny?" She asked.

"Mother figure, it's just. Oh Ruth, I was young, naive and back then I'd have done anything she said. No one knows this but, before everything went wrong all those years ago, there was one night…Connie was, it was this banquet they had, all the agents were invited, my first big work thing. I was so nervous, willing myself to make a good impression on my peers and Connie stayed with me all night, introducing me to all the important people. We chatted, we danced, we drank…a lot."

"Lucas, are you telling me what I think you are?"

"It was one night, we never spoke of it again, then a few months later I was captured and then, well you know the rest."

"So you respected her a lot more than she knew then?"

"I know she's not the same woman she was, that she's done unspeakable things, but even now, when I looked at her, all I saw was the woman who made me the great agent I am today, the woman who taught me everything I know. I am who I am because of her, and now she needs our help and I…"

"You can't say no to her."

"I can't and Ros won't understand that."

"As long as you do, that's all that matters."

"I want to see her, I need to see her?"

"Well, let's go and see Harry and we'll talk about it, okay?"

Lucas nodded as Ruth led him back to Harry.

…

To Be Continued…


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

…

Harry was now alone in the meeting room, sitting at the table, his head in his hands as Ruth and Lucas walked in.

"Harry." Ruth asked concerned.

"Ah Ruth, Lucas…I'm al-right."

"Are you sure?" Ruth asked, not quite believing him.

Harry got to his feet, taking hold of Ruth's hand tightly.

"I'm sure…Ros?"

"Stormed off, maybe give her some time to cool down."

"Perhaps you're right, what about you Lucas?"

"I can't say I'm not shocked by all this."

"But?"

"If Connie's in danger then…we have to help her, despite everything else."

"I agree."

"I want to see her Harry." Lucas stated.

"I'll leave you two alone." Ruth said, as she retreated out of the office.

As Ruth slid the door shut, Lucas turned his attention back to Harry.

"Well, can I?"

"Lucas, are you sure that's such a good idea."

"If you want us to help her then I need to see her."

"Why?"

"I need to know she's not lying to us."

"And seeing her will convince you of that?"

"I'll be able to see it it in her eyes, I know her and I know when she's lying to me."

"Oh come on Lucas, you think I don't know."

"What?"

"I know what Connie meant to you, not just as a mentor."

"She told you?"

"Quite some time ago, so you can only imagine how hard it was for her to not negotiate your release all those years ago."

"Right…"

"And why you were so adamant on helping her when we found out she had betrayed us and killed Ben, I do understand now."

"The others don't know about Connie do they, about what happened between us?"

"Not that I'm aware of and if they do then they didn't hear it from me."

"Ruth knows, but only because I confided in her. I doubt Ros knows, she surely would have had something to say about it."

"Undoubtedly, I'm not sure if you seeing Connie right now is such a god idea Lucas."

"Harry please, I don't ask for much?"

"Fine, meet me back here in two hours and I'll take you to her."

"Thank you."

"Don't make me regret this."

"I won't, I promise."

…

Ros came storming in to the break room, as Ruth turned to get the milk from the fridge.

"Oh, you decided to come back then?"

"As if I had much of a choice. Where's Harry?"

"Harry and Lucas went out for a while."

"Where too?"

"Just out?"

"Connie?"

Ruth heard the disdain in Ros voice at the mere mention of Connie.

"I don't know."

"Lucas is bloody blinded when it comes to that woman."

"She was his mentor Ros, he looked up to her."

"She killed Ben, you would think that would at least make him question just what type of woman she really was."

Ros sat down at the table, Ruth placing a cup in front of her before joining her.

"She wasn't always like this, she made a mistake, granted a terrible one but she took a wrong path and couldn't get back on track. You've messed up a few times in your career."

"I never killed a colleague, a friend."

"Lucas can't help how he feels about her."

"What do you mean how he feels about her?"

"As a mentor, it's not something you can just erase. For all Connie's faults, she created a good Spook."

"Am I the only one not willing to give her another chance here or what?"

"Yes."

"Even Malcolm?"

"Even Malcolm. Ros I know it's hard, but there is the smallest chance that she wants to change."

"Well I suppose we'll just have to see, but if and when this backfires, I'll be the one to say I told you so."

Ros got up, taking her coffee with her as she made her way back to her desk.

…

Lucas and Harry made their way in to the hotel, Lucas staying back as Harry went to the reception desk to talk to the manager. When Harry came back over, Lucas sensed concern in Harry's face.

"Is something wrong Harry?"

"The manager said someone was hanging around earlier, a man in his thirties, dark hair, nice suit. He was asking questions about Connie."

"Does he know it was Connie specifically?"

"He showed the manager an old picture he had of her."

"Can we trust him?" Lucas asked, directing his sight to the manager?"

"Simon has been an asset to MI5 for many years, we can trust him."

"I hope so."

"Come…I'll take you to Connie."

Lucas followed Harry in to the lift, watching as Harry pressed the button to the tenth floor. The remained silent as the waited for their floor, the lift coming to a stop and the doors sliding open. They stepped out, and made their way along the long corridor. Harry came to a stop outside room 290.

"Well this is it, I'll stay out here. Allow you some time alone."

"Thank you Harry."

"Don't be too long, we need to get back to the grid." He said, handing Lucas the room key.

"I won't."

Harry walked away down the corridor, Lucas knocking lightly before swiping the key and walking inside.

When he walked in, Connie was pointing a gun at him, fear on her face.

"Connie…" He said, holding up his hands.

"Lucas…"

"Harry brought me, he's outside. He's told us what's happening, I needed to see you. I'm not here to hurt you, I promise you."

Connie lowered her weapon, relief washing over her and her tension loosened. She watched closely as Lucas walked slowly towards her, she looked in to his eyes as he came to stand in front of her, he tough exterior crumbling in front of him, tears falling from her eyes. Lucas without thinking, wrapped her in his arms as she held on tightly to him.

"It's okay, you're safe now Connie…you're safe."

…

To Be Continued…


	8. Chapter 8

**Ships are complicated, some are odd, some are way out there, some like them, some don't, and if you don't that's fine, you don't have to read them, just saying. Enjoy, sorry for the delay.**

 **Chapter 8**

Connie stayed securely in Lucas arms for a few minutes before Lucas felt it was safe enough to finally take a step back. Connie had her head down, finally feeling that it was safe enough to look up when she felt his warm hand on her arm, giving her a gentle squeeze.

"I'll bet you weren't expecting to ever see me again?" She stated.

"It's certainly a shock, when Harry told us you were alive I…I didn't know what to think, so may thoughts ran through my head."

"Disappointment? Not that I could ever blame you."

"No, definitely not disappointed, just shocked. I can't believe you managed to escape the explosion. Ros and I just managed to make it out before the bomb exploded?"

"I ran in the opposite direction, I managed to squeeze though a gap in the wall, I didn't get out unscathed though."

Lucas gave her a curious look before she lifted her shirt to reveal the scarring on her abdomen.

"Jesus, that's bad."

"A lot of healing, a great deal of pain, operations to correct some of the damage, as you can see…I will never be fully healed but perhaps I deserve what I got, after all I did."

Connie went quiet before taking a step back and going to sit on the sofa. Lucas stood watching her for a few moments before he went over and joined her. They sat silently for a minute or two before Lucas reached out and took hold of her hand, Connie turning towards him to see nothing but concern in his eyes.

"I don't deserve your compassion Lucas."

"Maybe not, but you're getting it regardless."

"The others don't want to know, do they?"

"Malcolm is getting there, as is Ruth."

"Ros?"

"She's going to take more persuading."

"I can't blame her, if I was in her shoes, I wouldn't help me either."

"She trusted you Connie, we all did and you betrayed us."

"Then why are you here? Why don't you just turn your back on me too, of all of them, I've hurt you the most. I left you in another Country to die for god sake."

"You didn't have a choice, I know that. You go in to this job, knowing you may have to give your life for your Country, it's a rule we all live by."

"You didn't tell me why you're here helping me?"

Connie felt Lucas squeeze her hand a little tighter before he looked up at her.

"You know why, you've always known." He said quietly.

…

Harry was pacing back and forth in the hallway while Lucas was inside with Connie, his phone ringing.

"Ruth?"

"Hi, how are things going down there?"

"Oh, al-right I think. Lucas is inside with Connie, I thought I'd give them some time alone."

"Do you think that's wise?"

"I don't follow?"

"Oh come on Harry, Lucas told me about what happened all those years ago with Connie, how he's always felt about her, even after what she did. His judgement's clouded."

"Ruth, he left her in a tunnel to die."

"Yes, and how long did he blame himself for her death afterwards. Harry come on, he's not thinking like an agent right now and you know that."

"Right now, he's the only one who genuinely wants to help her and not just feel obligated to do so like yourself and Malcolm because of me."

"Fair enough, but please watch out for him. I don't want her using him to get what she wants."

"She wouldn't do that."

"She killed a colleague, she'd do anything it meant protecting herself."

"Not with Lucas, he's her weak spot, he always has been."

"Harry please, don't go using him to get what you need from her."

"He knows the job."

"He's also our friend, and he's saved your backside on more than one occasion, **do not** use him like that Harry, I want your word."

There was silence at the other end of the phone, Ruth beginning to get inpatient.

"Harry?"

"I promise, I won't use Lucas for my gain."

"Good, that's all I needed to hear."

"Has Ros calmed down yet?"

"Ros is a completely different kettle of fish, getting her onside is definitely going to take some time, she's really not happy about any of this. She hates Connie more than anyone, and given everything that happened, you can't really blame her."

"No, no you can't, but Ros needs to realise that this isn't going to go away."

"I know."

"Look, we'll all talk when we get back."

"Okay, see you soon, love you."

"I love you too."

…

Connie's head was on Lucas shoulder, as they sat in silence.

"I'll have to get going soon, Harry will be wondering what's taking so long." Lucas spoke up.

"Mm-mm, I'm glad you came today, I know you didn't have too."

"I meant what I said Connie, you know why I'm here, why I want to help you."

"Lucas, one night so many years ago, it's doesn't mean that you…"

Lucas kissed her quickly before getting to his feet and making his way to the door.

"Lucas?"

"One night doesn't mean it never happened or that it didn't mean anything. Maybe not to you anyway, but to me, well you know how I feel. Some things can't be erased Connie, it doesn't matter how hard you try."

Connie could only watch as Lucas smiled her way before walking out the door.

…

To Be Continued…


End file.
